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How Birth Partners Can Support Labor (Labour) and Birth

Practical ways a partner or support person can prepare, help during labour and look after themselves.

Before you use this guide: This is general educational information, not an individual medical assessment. We do not identify a clinician reviewer on this page, so please confirm personal health decisions with your doctor, midwife or paediatrician.

Whether you are a partner, relative or friend, your calm presence matters more than you may think. Research shows that continuous support during labour is linked with shorter labours and a more positive birth experience.

Before labour starts

• Go to antenatal classes together if you can.
• Read your birth plan and ask what matters most to her.
• Know the route to the hospital or birth centre, and have a back-up plan for transport.
• Keep a phone charger, snacks and a drink in your own bag, along with the hospital bag.
• Make sure the car seat is fitted correctly before the birth.
• Save the maternity unit phone number.

During early labour

• Help her rest, eat light snacks and drink plenty of water.
• Time contractions if she asks, and call the maternity unit when your care team has told you to.
• Keep the mood calm: dim lights, music, a warm bath or shower.

During active labour

• Offer sips of water, ice chips and a damp cloth for her face.
• Encourage different positions. Moving, rocking and leaning on you can ease pain.
• Use massage, firm back pressure or a hot water bottle if she likes them. Ask first, since touch can feel unwelcome at times.
• Breathe slowly with her and remind her to relax her jaw and shoulders.
• Speak up for her wishes politely, and ask the midwife questions so that she does not have to.
• Praise her often. Do not take it personally if she snaps at you.

When decisions need to be made

If your midwife or doctor suggests a change in plan, a helpful set of questions is: What are the benefits? What are the risks? Are there alternatives? What happens if we wait a little while or do nothing? How do we feel about it? In an emergency, trust the team to act quickly.

After the birth

• Take your turn for skin-to-skin contact with the baby.
• Help with feeding, whether breast or bottle, by bringing water and snacks, and with positioning.
• Handle visitors, phone calls and practical jobs.
• Watch out for signs that she is unwell and tell the midwife straight away, for example heavy bleeding, faintness or severe pain.

Look after yourself too

Labour can be long. Eat, drink and take short breaks when you can. Birth can also feel overwhelming for partners. Talk about your feelings afterwards, and tell your doctor if you feel low or anxious in the weeks after. Fathers and partners can experience postnatal depression too.

This content is for general information only and is not medical advice. Every pregnancy and every baby is different. Always talk to your doctor, midwife or paediatrician about your own situation, and seek urgent care if you are worried.