Home › Baby Showers & Gender Reveals
Baby Shower Etiquette: What to Wear and What to Bring
A simple guide to baby shower manners for guests and hosts, including what to wear, what to bring and what not to say.
Before you use this guide: This is general educational information, not an individual medical assessment. We do not identify a clinician reviewer on this page, so please confirm personal health decisions with your doctor, midwife or paediatrician.
Baby showers are relaxed, friendly events, so there is not much to worry about. A few small courtesies help everything go smoothly, whether you are a guest or the host.
For guests: before the party
- Reply to the invitation by the RSVP date. Hosts need numbers for food and seating.
- Mention any allergies or dietary needs when you reply.
- Check for a registry and buy from it if you can. If you cannot attend, you can still send a card or a gift.
- If you are bringing a plus-one or children, check that the invitation allows it.
- If the shower is a surprise, keep it secret and arrive early.
What to wear
Look at the invitation for a dress code. If there is none, smart-casual is a safe choice, such as a dress, a nice top with trousers or a skirt, and comfortable shoes.
- Pastel colours suit a spring or summer shower, but there is no need to match the theme.
- Choose comfortable clothes for sitting, playing games and eating.
- For an outdoor party, wear flat shoes if you will be on grass.
- Go easy on perfume. Strong scents can bother people in pregnancy.
- For the mum-to-be, comfort comes first: a soft, stretchy outfit she feels good in.
What to bring
- A gift or a card with a kind message. A card alone is perfectly fine.
- A gift receipt, so that the parents can exchange it.
- If you are asked, a dish for a potluck, with the ingredients written on a label.
- A book instead of a card, if the invitation asks for one.
- Nappies (diapers) for a raffle, if the host has said so.
What not to say or do
- Do not comment on the mum-to-be's weight, size or the shape of her bump.
- Do not touch her bump without asking.
- Do not share birth horror stories or advice that she has not asked for.
- Do not reveal the baby's name or sex unless the parents have shared it.
- Do not post photos online that show other people, or the mum-to-be, without checking they are happy.
- Do not question her choices about feeding, birth or parenting.
For hosts
- Make sure the venue is easy to reach, with seats, nearby toilets and, if needed, step-free access.
- Offer drinks that include alcohol-free options for everybody.
- Keep a list of who gave which gift, to make thank-you messages easier.
- Plan short breaks, and avoid a rigid schedule.
- Thank guests personally at the end.
Thank-you messages
The parents-to-be usually send a note of thanks after the shower, and it is a lovely touch even if it is only a short message. Aim to send them within a few weeks. If a new baby arrives and there is no time, a quick message of thanks is always kind, and nobody expects it to be perfect.
Trusted resources to read next
These public health resources provide additional information. Guidance can vary by country, so prioritise advice from your own care team and local health service.
- NHS: Your 20-week scan — When the mid-pregnancy scan happens and what it checks.
- NHS: Foods to avoid in pregnancy — Which foods to leave off the menu when the guest of honour is pregnant.
This content is for general information only and is not medical advice. Every pregnancy and every baby is different. Always talk to your doctor, midwife or paediatrician about your own situation, and seek urgent care if you are worried.